28 September, 2008


Anyone who knows me will know that I have a deep and abiding hatred for eggs, in any shape or form. Well, that's not strictly true. I don't mind them in cakes.

It's the taste and smell you see. When I was a boarder at prep school in SW Scotland at prep school they used to try to make me eat the eggs. They were cooked so badly that when we got boiled eggs for breakfast, the yolks were so hard they would last all day being used as bouncy balls - these were big when I was a pre-teen! And the fried eggs defied description! Anyway, when I said I didn't like eggs they said that wasn't good enough and I'd have to eat them. Only an allergy would let me off the hook, so I told them that eggs made me throw up. They said that constituted an aversion to eggs, not an allergy. I said I was allergic to the taste!! I never ate them. I've never been good at doing as I was told, even when I was young!

This hatred has lasted all my life. I'm pretty obsessive about it now. I can't bear the smell of eggs, although bizarrely I quite like the smell of a freshly baked quiche, or an omelette cooking, but no force on earth could get me to eat it!

Eggs stink, let's face it. And they are rubbery, and they come out of chickens' arses...it's no wonder they stink! If Isla has had eggs I make her brush her teeth and use mouthwash before I can give her a kiss. And if we are out and my mum gets an egg sarnie from the supermarket we have separate cans of coke. After that, we go back to sharing, cause I figure she's cleaned her mouth sufficiently with the first can, and will no longer contaminate my own! I cannot even eat something that has been near an egg or, god forbid, touched one.

Strangely, I have absolutely no problem with raw eggs. I can cook with them, like baking and stuff, and have no problem separating the yolk, or getting raw egg on my hands, but if it was cooked egg I'd have a fit of the screaming heebie jeebies!

See, not rational in the slightest - obsessive. A totally irrational fear - therefore it must be a phobia*! Shit, should have realised that at school!

*ovophobia - irrational fear of eggs!
NB. Photographs Not My Own Work