Up In The Air

I'm feeling a bit strange tonight. It's that sort of expectant feeling when you know something you don't like is going to happen - and I hate that. Sort of sinking butterfly-y feeling.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I shouldn't - I have stuff to look forward to. The problem is that I never believe that something is going to happen until it actually does. I try to be optimistic, but judging from past experiences, even when I think that the glass is half full, it normally turns out to be half empty. And that's not just pessimism, it's just the way things turn out.

Even when I went on holiday to Japan, I didn't allow myself to believe it was actually going to hapen until I was sitting on that plane at Heathrow! I kept thinking that there was going to be something that stopped it happening. And that's how I feel about my trip to Scotland. Not that it's not going to happen, but that it's not going to happen like it might. And I know that's cryptic - there's not much I can do about that. I've learnt my lesson on posting every inner thought, which just means that you only know half of what I'm on about.

I know that by the morning I'll have shaken this off - I'm probably just tired. I've had a few late nights in a row and could probably do with going to bed early. I also have far too much time to think - which is never a good thing!

To quote Lost, whatever happens, happens.

I'm On My Way!

I do have other stuff to tell you, other than just rants and random crap! The only problem has been having the time and/or the inclination to sit down and do it. And rather than let the blog become like a chore, I have taken a bit of a step back, mainly until something blogworthy happens!

And it has! I'm going on a wee holiday soon - going to Scotland for five or six days at the beginning of August, and I can't wait. It's been over seven years since I've been back, and it feels like going home - that's how much I'm looking forward to it. I've never lived in England, not since I was three and a half, and it's a bit weird. The food is the same, the language is the same (well, sort of!) but it's all different.

So, I'm going home for a few days to chill out, meet up with old friends, enjoy nights out in my home town, and probably bump in to the odd ex now and again! Considering I grew up there there are one or two, at least one of whom I am bound to see because one particular friend of mine will probably make it inevitable - Lara! Just to let you know, I'm not averse to that - have to lay a few ghosts there I think. Oh, and the other one too - they're much bigger ghosts though.

I'm also going to go and see our old house - for old time's sake!

Probably too much to do in too little time, but it will all fit in, because I'll make it! And there's now nothing to stop me going up whenever I want to (except money obviously!) as I am now on the same land mass. So near, yet so far!

There is a bit more that I haven't told you, but I can't. Now that this blog is all out in the open and public there are certain things I'm afraid I can't divulge! Sorry!

The job is still fine - but bloody hell is it hot at the moment! And a boiling kitchen is the last place you'd want to be! So, am going to spend my afternoon off tomorrow at my mate's house sunbathing in her garden! Lovely!

Facebook and Blasts From the Past

Isn't it weird - all these years you don't give a second thought to people from your past life, but nowadays, with the advent of social networking sites like Bebo and Facebook, to name but two, as soon as something makes you think of someone from your past you go straight to the computer and look them up. Sometimes you find them, sometimes you don't. Sometimes they haven't changed a bit, and other times they're quite unrecogniseable.

I've caught up with a few people that way. Every so often I do a Facebook cull - I go through my friends list and delete the people that I have had no contact with because, really, what's the point of being online friends with someone just to boost the numbers? People stay in touch, or don't, for a reason.

I was going through my friends list last night, while I was talking to Joocey, who apparently henceforth shall be known as Mary Poppins (what WAS she on when she thought of that one?) but we shall carry on, for the sake of you knowing who the hell I'm talking about, referring to her as Joocey. Anyway, we were looking through the list, mainly at people we both went to school with, and there are some of them that I wouldn't know if I fell over them in the street. I wouldn't say that there are any that I would actively cross the street to avoid, because I wouldn't have accepted them as Facebook friends, but there have been a few that I wouldn't make an effort to see. Hence the cull!

Sometimes, however, you get back in touch with people you wish you'd never lost touch with in the first place, and that is where Facebook can be a really useful tool. You can break the ice, see what the other person looks like these days, whether you still fancy them or not, if they're single or attached, and whether they are worth being in touch with again!!

Sometimes, it pays off, and other times you can wish you had never re-opened that particular can of worms.

Fingers crossed it pays off for everybody.

OverJacksoned

or OverMichaeled? You decide.

It is a new term that I have coined. I think it'll take on myself, what do you reckon?

While I think it's sad that Michael Jackson has died, I have to admit that I am so incredibly sick of hearing his songs on the radio. I didn't like his music much before he died (except Black or White which had Slash on guitar so was acceptable!), so why am I going to suddenly change my mind just because he is dead? Harsh? Perhaps, but that's how I feel. A DJ this evening commented that it was a tragedy that he has died. No, it isn't. A tragedy is an aeroplane full of passengers disappearing into the Atlantic leaving no surviors and no clues as to what happened. His death is sad, a shame, but not a tragedy.

Do not make it into something it is not.

Happy Birthday Daddy Dearest

Happy Birthday Pa. 71 today - not that you'd know it!

Expedition

No, not a long expedition, just a little one! I was sitting in my room yesterday wondering what to do with my afternoon (I'd had a lie in!), when a friend suggested to me that I go out and take some pictures of where I'm living so that everyone could see them on Facebook. I ummed and ahhed about it for a bit, but then we had a power cut which pushed me out as there was nothing else to do.

So, I got in to the car and headed up to the top of Cleeve Hill, which you may remember me telling you is the dead posh bit just outside of Cheltenham. We have a beautiful view of Cleeve Hill from the pub, and I wanted to see if I could see the pub from there. If you click on the picture and look closely, you will see a little red cross which is about where I was.
I had taken some Tesco prawn sarnies - really pushed the boat out there! - and had a little picnic while I happily snapped away with my camera. There were no fabulous shots, just snaps, but I enjoyed it. A little bit of me time, which is rare at the moment as I seem to be working all the time.
After that, I went over to my mate's and had a curry. I had to drop over some magazines for my mum, Isla's Dr Who magazine, and most importantly my dad's birthday card. Stayed for a couple of hours, helped her pack, sorted out her computer stuff, and came back to the pub and finished my book. I came back via Tewkesbury though because I wanted to photograph the Abbey all lit up at night, so you can imagine my disappointment when I discovered that it's not lit up at all. Ah well, never mind!

A satisfying, relaxing and enjoyable day!

Random Snippets

This post is just going to be a bit random. Nothing particularly interesting has happened recently, so it's just little snippets.

I am constantly amazed at what google searches people do when they stumble upon my blog. Today's interesting one was "catering foil ramekins "foil ramekins"". Pretty random! The last good one was "went gym" - probably the poor person thought they had found some great site about working out, and instead found a blog about family and food - they must have been well disappointed!

The other night I watched Marley and Me - I knew it was going to be a tearjerker, I had already cried my way through the book after all. I wasn't prepared for the level of crying it induced though - I was crying audible sobs - by the end of it you would have thought that my own dog had died, I was in that much of a state. I don't think that's one I'll be watching often! It was a great film, but I was an emotional wreck afterwards! I watched Music and Lyrics after that, and that was a really sweet film, and totally cheered me up. Always a laugh watching Hollywood stars trying to sing, and Hugh Grant was no exception!

Isla got her first parcel from me yesterday - when she was in UK with my mum she got hooked on the Dr Who magazines, so now I have to send her one a week, and I'm trying to add in little gifts each time like interesting sweeties! I remember how exciting it was to get post as a child, especially parcels, so as long as I can keep them coming Isla will be excited once a week!

My mate is going back to France next weekend for a few days. She's going to stay in my house, with my mum and dad, in my bed, with my daughter and my dogs. No, I'm not pissed off, I'm just a bit jealous that she'll get to see everyone, and sleep in my bed which I am missing almost as much as my family and dogs!

Do you remember that I said I didn't get a TV with my birthday money? Well, I've kind of done the next best thing - I've ordered, from Amazon, a USB dongle type thing that attaches to an aerial and gives you digital freeview direct to your computer. Cool eh - I just hope that the reception is really good. I think, from the product review I read, that you can even record shows if you're going to miss them. So, no excuse to miss the X Factor auditions when they start, seeing as I missed 90% of Britain's Got Talent! Ooh, I can also record Eastenders! Yippee! I also ordered a table fan, as I am dying of heat exposure every night! The heating is off, I sleep with the window open, but for some reason I just get really hot at night. I'm not used to doors and windows that fit, and I need some air movement overnight.

Gym

Don't fall off your seats - I went to the gym the other day! My mate texted me and asked if I fancied a swim, and I said yes please! It was lovely - a 25m pool, just four other people in it and up and down and up and down until I have completed a kilometre. I want to work my way back up to a mile, but that was the first swim of the year. I have to say, in a bigger pool it takes a lot less time to do because there isn't so much turning - our pool in France is 12m and it feels like forever to do a kilometre because every eight strokes or so you have to turn round! I had forgotten how horrible chlorine is though - it really made my eyes sting.

It felt great, and to celebrate, we went out to a Chinese afterwards! I haven't had a Chinese in years (well, not a proper english one complete with MSG!) and it was gorgeous! Not very healthy perhaps, but yummy anyway!
There's not much else to tell you really - work is going fine and I only have one and a half days off a week, so I'm pretty knackered! And I'm going to have to go because I have cut the end of my index finger (the one that does most of the typing!) and it hurts! Also, I have Benidorm to watch!! Haha, guilty pleasures!

Mortified!

I made a complete arse of myself the other day at work! I went out of the kitchen and behind the bar to get a drink and I saw these two guys sitting at the bar. One was on a bar stool, the other looked like he was sitting on a restaurant chair at the bar - he was really low down and I thought this was a bit odd.

I said "What are you doing down there?" and they both creased up laughing.

I was a little confused now, and thought to myself "oh my god, he's a bloody midget!".

He was only in a bloody wheelchair - I went bright red, apologised profusely, which only served to send them off in more hysterics. Funniest thing they'd heard that day apparently.

Since then, they have been in a few times, and every time they say "he's still sitting down there"!

They won't let me forget it! Soooo luckily for me they found it funny, otherwise I could have been sued for disabled bashing!

Birthday Girls

As some of you might know, if you are friends on Facebook or if you have been reading my blogs for a year or more, I share my birthday with my daughter Isla. And it was on Tuesday. As luck would have it, she and my mum happened to be in the UK for the day - they were visiting my Grandma. I managed to organise to get three whole days off work, just two weeks into my new job, and head off down to Portsmouth to spend the day together.

I went down on Monday and came back on Wednesday, so we managed to have our whole birthday together. We went down to Southsea seafront on the Monday and paddled our feet and had Verecchias Ice Cream - the best in the world by the way, so if you ever go to Portsmouth look out for yellow ice cream vans!
The plan was that we would either go to the Isle of Wight or Brighton for the day, but they both worked out far too expensive, so we went out for lunch to the Royal Oak at Langstone instead. It's a really old pub which was frequented my both my mum and Grandma in their respective days. My mum used to go there drinking when she was in her twenties, and frequently had to move the car as the tide came in! Grandma used to go when she was really young - during the war. Her offive had been evacuated out to Warblington (near Chichester) and when they were meant to be on firewatch, they used to walk along the coast to the pub and sit and have a drink dangling their legs over the wall into the sea. My Grandma always says she had a really good war - I think she had a lot of fun during that time! Before we went to the Royal Oak though, we went into old Portsmouth where there is a man with a fish stall on the docks and we each had a little pot of prawn cocktail - in the knowledge that they had probably been in the sea still until that morning!
Anyway, we all had fish and chips in the beer garden, which was gorgeous, and then we went for a bit of a drive around to Emsworth and Bosham. We also went to buy Isla's birthday present - a new bike! We got it in Toys R Us, and the man that put the extra bits onto it was bloody gorgeous, and flirty! No wedding ring, but on the other hand he didn't ask me for a drink. Bugger! Lovely though!
On Wednesday (yesterday) we went out to buy my birthday present. Grandma had given me some money, and I was going to get a TV because I don't have one here, but then I decided I didn't need one because I don't get that much time to watch TV, and I have a laptop and a hard drive full of stuff to watch. Instead, I bought a computer desk, and a printer because I don't have one here, and I can't rely on my mate every time I want something printed. So I now have my little work station set up with desk, computer, printer, hard drives, speakers etc - in a techy geeky sense, I am totally sorted!

After that, I went along to Portchester Castle with my mum and Isla. Isla took her new bike, and I just wanted to go because it's one of my very favourite places in the world. If you are even in Portsmouth, make a point of going to the castle - it's stunning, and the views from the top of the Keep are spectacular. It's peaceful there, you can walk dogs, ride a bike around the outside or just have a little wander. Beautiful.
I came back up to Cheltenham last night - I didn't really want to leave - as I don't know when I'll get to see Isla again - but I've got a proper job now - I have to work the hours they tell me, not the hours I fancy like in France!

So, it's back to the daily grind. I'm not posting as much as before because, to be perfectly honest, I'm too damn knackered by the end of the day to do anything but slob and watch crap like Sex & The City at night!

I will endeavour to keep you all up to date with interesting stuff though!